Alternatives to being alone as I age

gorgeous watercolor by Evan Hall

“…the moral test of government is how that government treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are in the twilight of life, the elderly; those who are in the shadows of life; the sick, the needy and the handicapped. ”
~ Last Speech of Hubert H. Humphrey

I have been thinking a lot lately about what my husband and I will do with ourselves as we age. We are both a little punk in spirit, so a suburban retirement lifestyle may not be the best fit – shuffleboard around the pool and all that. I’ve also seen what happens to folks left on their own as they lose the ability to care for themselves – it’s not pretty.

I wish I had a spot in the Penn South NORC (Naturally Occurring Retirement Community) in Chelsea, NYC. The folks who live in Penn South, though, waited on a list for 15 years before being offered an apartment. Even so, the list isn’t even open all the time. You have to wait years just to sign up. Once you are in, though, the Penn South NORC is a fantastic support system. “The objective of the program is to assist seniors to remain in their own homes for as long as they wish, providing social services, health services, cultural, recreational and other services as the need arises” (from their website)

A friend (studying to be a nurse) and I (studying to be an OT) had the idea that a bunch of friends should just gather together and set up a living situation in a commune or bed-and-breakfast style. The more I think about it, the more doable it seems to me. I am so afraid of inaction and isolation. An intentional community could be what I am looking for…what I will be looking for. We friends would be able to share in the costs of living and in-home care as well as look after each other emotionally. Maybe NYC will be the place, maybe a plot somewhere more temperate. We’ll see what I can come up with…

If it’s a subject that interests you, here are a few other articles I have been looking over:

More about NORCS in NYC:  http://www.nyc.gov/html/dfta/html/services/retirement.shtml

Retirement to a cruise ship:  http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/retire.asp

Intentional communities:  http://fiscallyfit.us/communal-retirement-living-no-love-beads-required

Alternatives to the nursing home:  http://healthland.time.com/2012/06/01/alternatives-to-the-nursing-home-for-aging-or-ailing-parents/

New Song: “Every Day” + a real recording!!

I wrote this song for a woman who works with pregnant teens in a local hospital. She told me she puts all her love and dedication into the job, but it’s hard for her to see the girls move on into a world over which she has no control.

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. Thanks to Carnegie Hall’s Musical Connections program for making the recording possible!

Recorded with the Lascivious Biddies and the lovely Camille Zamora!

Bellevue and the Lullaby Project: You’ve got the music in you!

Deidre and Saskia during the sharing and arranging session towards the end of the day

Last year, Carnegie* piloted the Lullaby Project with Emily Eagen and Tom Cabiness as facilitators and teaching artists. During the course of a week, the teaching artists meet with pregnant teens, help them write lullabies for their unborn babies, recorded said lullabies in the studio, and hosted a listening party the following week. The girls were presented with CDs of their songs as keepsakes. In the process, they also felt the glow of success in a trying time, and learned a bit about their own potential.

I have helped many, many people write their first song, and I can say for certain that EVERYONE has a little music in them.

Due to the success of the pilot program, Carnegie has arranged several iterations this year, in several different settings – a shelter, a prison, a couple of hospitals. Our own Lullaby Project took place at Bellevue Hospital‘s playroom, where the young mothers gather weekly to do some art therapy and learn a bit about parenting while they wait for their checkups. It’s a sweet little space, full of toys and craft supplies.  Camille Zamora worked with us. She is an amazing opera singer, founder of Sing for Hope, and a really lovely fellow Houstonian. (She also speaks fluent Spanish!)

Click through below for the rest of the story, and an example of one of the letters.

Music and Health Care

Wolf Brown just released a scholarly paper about health care.

Take a Gander!

It’s regarding the work I have been writing about thus far – with Musical Connections.

Very exciting…

Lullaby and Good Night

With the Weill Music Institute at Carnegie Hall’s Musical Connections program, the Biddies often have the opportunity to lead extended songwriting workshops for various groups. Last year we facilitated workshops for Valley Lodge shelter for homeless seniors, and AHRC NYC day centers for developmentally disabled adults.

This year, we are making a repeat visit to AHRC, and are working on a new project that we are very excited about. Last season Carnegie piloted the Lullaby Project at Jacobi hospital in the Bronx, in which teaching artists meet with pregnant teens in order to help them write lullabies to their unborn children. These young women and men have a difficult time boonding with their children, due to the shame and stigma involved in being such a young parent. The process of writing the music for their babies gives these parents the emotional space they need to get in close touch with what is happening in their lives. In addition, there comes a huge boot to pride in the creation of the music.

2011-2012’s program was such a success that they are expanding the program to several venues across the city. We three will be working in December and May at Bellevue Hospital with opera singer Camille Zamora (photo at right). The project consists of three parts:

• A first session in which we meet a group of young mothers and fathers in order to write lyrics and melody together.
• A recording session by the artists to create a keepsake for the families
• A listening party for the families and teaching artists

I can’t wait to start!! We generally have between 6 weeks and 3 months to work with a group of adults, so this one-day writing session will be a challenge. We’ll need to be on our game and ready to get the creative juices flowing.

Next post I’ll share with you some of the tools we use in writing groups to create a safe space in which to create!

A New Direction, and a Blog to Match

I’ve had SheSewFly.com (now removed from the internet!) for several years, chronicling all the delicious things I eat, and all the nice places I travel to, and all the pretty dresses I make. Along the way, I enjoyed writing when I had the chance, but there was no real purpose to to the thing.

Also, over the past few years, the focus of my own life has changed. I used to think of myself primarily as a performing artist. That’s still a huge part of my identity, but in recent years, I’ve been very lucky to have been able to add to that in a meaningful way. With my band, the Biddies, I’ve just begun the fourth season of working with The Weill Music Institute at Carnegie Hall’s Musical Connections Program.

In short, Musical Connections is a community outreach program dedicated to creating a 360 degree intensive musical experience for undeserved populations around New York City. Through this program I have been able to experience music in a way I never could have predicted. Through intensive songwriting with various groups of people – homeless senior citizens, people who are incarcerated, hospital populations, the developmentally different – I have been able to witness and be an agent in some truly healing work. The act of songwriting has changed from being a purely selfish endeavor to being a mechanism that instills creative energy, confidence and personal power in people who desperately need inspiration.

I will try to keep my posts relatively short, but I want you to know that this is the direction I am heading. I love to perform in theaters and clubs as much as I ever have, but there’s added depth and fresh opportunity on the table now. The ingenue is long-gone. I’m heading into a new place and am absolutely thrilled.

Here are some media links to some outreach work I have been involved with over the past few years:

The photo: Holding the torch at AHRC NYC’s annual Special Olympics event

Below: Video from CBS Saturday Morning of ongoing work at Sing Sing maximum security prison. Be sure to watch the web extras!
I was also able to write a blog post for the Carnegie Hall Blog about the experience.

Below: An article in the NY Daily News about ongoing songwriting work at Valley Lodge in Manhattan – a shelter for Homeless Seniors

My Band, The Biddies is also a roster artist for CarnegieKids! Below is a pic of the Itty Biddies‘ article in a recent edition of Playbill.